“I Want to Fall Apart Quietly”: there’s hope at the end of sadness

I want to fall apart quietly,
On a Sunday morning
In the corner of my blue bedroom,
With Pythagoras theorem scrawled
Across the walls in green marker,
The radio playing Sade
The birds chirping their song,
The trees whispering secrets between their sweet leaves
Of the fruit ripening on my lips,
A kiss,
The sweetest taboo,
Of falling in love.

I want to fall apart quietly
Inside Scripture and a cup of coffee
Dark enough to sip from the roots
Of a rich ancestry,
Sweet enough to not despise the origins
Of pain or poverty.
Or generational trauma.

These are freshly ground aspirations,
The dreams percolating at the centre of my mind.
The scent of ambition is heady
It fills this room,
It climbs into my bed
It clings to my clothes,
Demanding to be felt.

So I fall apart in the hope that when I fall back together,
My wholeness will proclaim itself loudly.

******

Courtesy of the author.

Published by Brittle Paper.

Link to the Italian translation

Chioniso Tsikisayi is a spoken word poet, writer, singer, and filmmaker from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. She is passionate about creative arts and conscious storytelling.

Her work has been published in Brittle Paper, Isele Magazine and Litro Magazine. Her first body of music titled “Heaven Is Closer Than You Know” was released in November 2020 in collaboration with award-winning media hub Cottage47. She performed at The PiChani (a Pan African lifestyle and networking event for young creatives) as well as at the opening ceremony of the European Film Festival in Bulawayo. She is a finalist for Grand Slam Africa 2021 hosted by Kenya Poetry Slam and Cre8ive Spills and placed third for the Intwasa Short Story Competition 2021Brittle Paper named her their November Spotlight Artist.

She occasionally writes for Doing it for the Kidz (DIFTK) magazine, which is a socially conscious youth-based charity organization that focuses primarily on uplifting struggling communities within Zimbabwe.

An enthusiast of poetry slams and RnB music, Chioniso regularly publishes her visual poems and songs on her YouTube channel.

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