“Living Death”, a hopeless life with sadness weaved into the bones

I don’t remember the day I stopped fearing death

I do remember taking pieces of my broken heart and rebuilding

Reconnecting with other humans

Begging them to love me back

But I simply couldn’t be enough

 

Instead of hope, I reek of death

It’s dark aura seduces my soul

Every waking day– another torment

A reminder that any second could be my last

A painful reminder of a life I could’ve enjoyed,

Had I not sadness and darkness into my heart

 

These walls are on a first name basis with the sweet sufferings of purgatory

I have caressed and cajoled with death’s kiss

And found myself on more than one occasion longing for death’s lips

To seal my fate

End the madness ravishing my soul

So much sadness, it’s weaved into my bones

 

I exhale the fiery fumes when I wake and cuddle the soft promise of certainty

I welcome death for he’s the only constant-

In my thoughts

In my emotions

In my feelings

In the hand that wields this pen

I don’t remember the day i stopped embracing hope

 

*****

[Courtesy of the author]

Link to the Italian translation

Maipelo M Zambane is a reluctant freelance creative writer based in Botswana. She loves written words and has recently re-published her collection of poems titled, Life and Everything in Between (available at https://t.co/sLFyXYuBrr) #BWmadeBooks.

When she’s not reading, she’s writing, working on her business pursuits and trying to find tune her body to be able to eat without getting fat.

She keeps a very active profile on Twitter and collaborates with the digital magazine Afrolutionist, which aims to contribute to inclusive development in Africa and in the African diaspora through the perspective of human rights.