“Left without”, a woman inside the imaginery cave of depression

I am lost without a cause

The reason to live ceases the reason to exist

The ravening clouds and the warning lights

Seem to guide my soul.

 

I can only walk in the light of darkness

Finding solace in broken vessels

Trading my life for you

As I drown in the weirdest dreams

Just longing for a “kiss of life”

But from which shell should I find that?

 

My fame extends in the world

I have been trampled on it

I never reached out to, or understood

The ways of life seem to border my life

I have lost control and hope in the name of love

I am only ready to give one more chance.

 

Life is only colder and hotter,

I stand like a rock, I am so rigid

The difficulties I hold for you

Keep me coming back to you

Only to curse and go back to my imaginary cave.

*********

[Courtesy of the author]

Link to the Italian translation

Akimana Divine is Rwandan poet, mental healthcare advocate and human rights activist. She is a member of the Parliament of Easter African youth Assembly (Vijana Assembly)

She has been published in different magazines like Atunispoetry in Belgium, Miombopublishing, Womanword and an anthology called Beauty of failure and other different platforms. She is currently working of her first poetry book which is coming soon.

Some events in her life had a strong impact on her: since a young age she was bullied for her weight and she later became a single mother as the father of her son left her when she was still pregnant. She has always found comfort in poetry, as she told us: “I always struggle with depression and when I can’t find anyone to talk to of the things I have in my head, I write poems“.